In the name of national security.

In case you've managed to miss the last 3 weeks of life in America, the Colorado Rockies are currently putting together one of the best runs in recent sporting memory. They've won 17 or their last 18 baseball games, including a first-round playoff sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies, and are now about to begin the National League Championship Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks, a team they beat twice in three games two weeks ago. In Denver, the Broncos are experiencing unheard-of competition from a team that hasn't played an October game since 1995. People are Rockies crazy, almost instantly buying every available ticket to the upcoming home playoff games. A lot of it is bandwagon-ism, but I don't care. The excitement is palpable, and I'm happy to be a part of it.

The problem with our instant fanatics means tickets have become a luxury unfordable to most people. With this in mind, I'm suggesting we (Rockies fans) stop competing with one another and start buying seats in Phoenix. To attend two games in Denver, you're looking at spending around $300 per ticket to sit 35 rows behind the first base dugout (www.stubhub.com). That comes out to about $1250 for two people for two games. If you were to buy tickets to the first two games in Arizona to sit in the same area, you'd only be out $468. That's because Arizona's fans still haven't bought all available face-value tickets. You could fly round-trip for $614 (two people) and stay less than a mile from the ballpark for two nights for $360 at the Holiday Inn Express, which also has the benefit of making you feel smarter - which you probably are to take advantage of a Rockies playoff opportunity. They don't come often. Throw in around $200 for food - you're thrifty, shopping at the local market - and your total trip cost is about $1650 - only $400 more than seeing the game in Denver. Now, if you're lucky and have friends/family living in Phoenix and can cancel some of those hotel and food costs, you're in the black. It's cheaper to fly down to Phoenix for a couple of days, cheer the Rox on the road, and bask in the glory of the hottest team in baseball's incredible run.

From your Holiday Inn Express to Chase Field, only 0.9 miles.
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Unrelated: My place is coming together. If you decide to forgo the above travel itinerary and stay in Denver for the League Championship Series (and World Series?), consider this option.

Also unrelated: This morning I visited the Green Mountain Exempla Health Care Clinic for my pre-employment physical. Aside from being healthy enough to "eat a double cheeseburger," I also signed away my medical confidentialities in the name of national security. Under the section labeled "Special Situations," the clause shown below was listed.



Really? I'd like to know how my height, weight or blood pressure could possibly demarcate me as a risk to "the President, other authorized persons or foreign heads of state." "Hmmmm, he's 5'8", 151 lbs., and has yellow pee. We've got to get this son of a bitch!" I don't buy it.