Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Boston Tea Party

Presidential Candidate: Charles Jay
Vice-Presidential Candidate: Dan Sallis, Jr.
Party Founded: 2006
Slogan: "Time to Party Like it's 1773!"

The entire platform of the Boston Tea Party is short. It reads, "The Boston Tea Party supports reducing the size, scope and power of government at all levels and on all issues, and opposes increasing the size, scope and power of government at any level, for any purpose." A paucity of words from a party intent on less of, well, everything. It works.

Their program is also to the point.

1. The Boston Tea Party calls for a complete and unconditional withdrawal of US troops from, and a cessation of US military operations against or within, Iraq.

2. The Boston Tea Party supports repeal of the USA PATRIOT Act.

3. The Boston Tea Party calls for an end to the federal prohibition of marijuana and hemp.

4. The Boston Tea Party calls for the immediate repeal of the REAL ID Act and any and all National ID plans.

5. The Boston Tea Party calls for legislation adopting an annual, regularized increase in the personal exemption to the federal income tax of $1,000 or more, and the additional application of said personal exemption to all FICA/Social Security taxes paid by employees and employers.

In 2004, Charles Jay also ran for President. Despite having a porn actress for a running mate (Marilyn Chambers), he gathered only 946 votes and finished 3rd from last. He ran with the Personal Choice Party that year and was only on the ballot in Utah, which made his choice of running mate that much more interesting.

Conflicting unsubstantiated reports suggest that the VP nominee of the Boston Tea is actually Thomas Knapp and not Dan Sallis, Jr. I don't really care; I suppose both potential VPs should be investigated, but who has the time?

The Boston Tea Party's homepage
Charles Jay's homepage
Thomas Knapp's blog, which is actually kinda funny
Dan Sallis, Jr.'s homepage (you're right, there's no hyperlink here. Dan Jr. doesn't have a homepage)


Andrew said...

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...never trust a guy with 2 first names.

Bryce said...

I like how Charles Jay "inserted" himself into the last presidential debate on his site, but I can't vote for a guy with poor spelling abilities.