Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Socialist, USA Party

Presidential Candidate: Brian Moore
Vice-Presidential Candidate: Stewart A. Alexander
Party founded: 1973
# of times the candidates have been to Alaska: 0

"THE SOCIALIST PARTY strives to establish a radical democracy that places people's lives under their own control -- a non-racist, classless, feminist, socialist society in which people cooperate at work, at home, and in the community. The Socialist Party is committed to full freedom of speech, assembly, press, and religion, and to a multi-party system. We are dedicated to the abolition of male supremacy and class society, and to the elimination of all forms of oppression, including those based on race, national origin, age, sexual preferences, and disabling conditions."

If you like capitalism, you may want to check out a different party. "
The primary goal of economic activity is to provide the necessities of life, including food, shelter, health care, education, child care, cultural opportunities, and social services." Read: not to get rich.

They say you can tell a lot about someone by the company they keep, well... famous socialists include:

Karl Marx (lived off Engel's money)
Vlad Lenin and John Lennon (brothers in arms)
Fidel Castro (loves vintage American cars)
Muammer al-Gaddafi (finally seeing it "our way")
Albert Einstein (invented electricity - right? electricity is all-American)
Helen Keller (I heard she was quite a pinball player)

Sounds like a rough bunch to me.

Brian Moore is and will be 65 when he ascends to the head of the United States in January.

Socialist Party USA


Andrew said...

Have you ever thought of writing political satire? Because this was pretty funny.

Bryce said...

Thanks for not steering away from a Helen Keller joke.